


Standard Greeting

by DoctorV



Series: Archive: Doc's Old-Ass Fake News Fic (Daily Show, Colbert Report, etc.) [19]
Category: Fake News FPF, Stargate Atlantis, The Colbert Report, The Daily Show
Genre: Alternate Universe - Stargate Atlantis Fusion, Banter, Gen, Jon's The Mom, M/M, Sort Of, Team as Family
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-03-16
Updated: 2018-03-16
Packaged: 2019-04-01 03:25:21
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 336
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13989453
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DoctorV/pseuds/DoctorV
Summary: Exciting soil samples in the Pegasus Galaxy.





	Standard Greeting

**Author's Note:**

> Archiving some old old OLD fanfic of mine. This was originally posted to LiveJournal 04/15/2009, with the author's note:  
> "Prompt was "I thought maybe a military/soldier AU type thing might be cool, no?" (I went for a crossover/fusion with Stargate: Atlantis.)"

It was completely, totally, and unarguably Stephen's fault.

 

It was Stephen who had convinced the _entire fucking TEAM_ to start using the Vulcan hand thing when meeting new people. Now the entire Pegasus galaxy seemed to be under the impression that it was a standard greeting among their people. Any Pegasus native who spotted an SGC uniform was almost guaranteed to hold up a hand, middle and ring fingers parted, and wish them long life and prosperity.

 

"You _know_ the anthropologists are having a shit-fit about you...'corrupting the native cultures of this galaxy'."

 

Stephen snorted. "We corrupted that the day Colonel Sheppard woke the Wraith. I think _this_ is just a _bit_ less traumatizing."

 

Jon was silent for a moment, then he grinned. "Do the eyebrow." When Stephen obligingly raised a stern eyebrow, Jon giggled. "Less traumatizing I'll give you, but I think you're tied on _intimidation_."

 

"Those soul-sucking catfish-faced douchebags don't stand a _chance_ ," Stephen intoned.

 

Jon laughed again. "Quit distracting me from my exciting _soil samples_ , man."

 

" _Ooh_ ," Stephen said sarcastically. " _Dirt_."

 

"Dirt with _pH_ levels," Jon corrected solemnly.

 

" _HIPPIES!_ "

 

Jon and Stephen both looked up sharply at the roar, then turned to each other and rolled their eyes.

 

"Kids!" Jon called. "Settle down!"

 

"And quit baiting Riggle!" Stephen added.

 

"Oh but _Mum_ , _Dad_ , he _started_ it!" Dr. Oliver called back childishly.

 

"And I will come over there and _stop_ it if you don't behave!" Stephen shouted, pointing at them.

 

"Ooh, Daddy's maa-aad," sing-songed Sam Bee, from the Canadian Forces.

 

"Hey, how come _I'm_ the mom?" Jon complained.

 

Stephen opened his mouth to reply, then suddenly yelped and brought his hand to his mouth. " _Ouch!_ "

 

Jon quickly stood up from his crouch, brow furrowed with worry. "Are you okay?" he asked, reaching for a vest pocket. "Hang on, I've got some band-aids and disinfectant."

 

Raising an eyebrow, Stephen smirked and held up his hand, completely undamaged. "And _that_ , my friend, is why _you're_ the mom."

 

Jon threw the tube of disinfectant at him.


End file.
